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msilverstar

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Nov. 14th, 2005 | 11:24 pm
mood: amused by icon
music: D'Gary, Malagasy Guitar

Thank you butterflysteel for the lovely icon.

I intend to use it happily for the fabulous fic by mirasfics and pir8fancier and blythely and the other ones I can't quite remember at the mo.

I was friendsfriending and found a fabulous proposal by commodorified to stop denigrating women by using the word "feminine" for portrayals of men "magically transformed into a quivering bowl of pink fluffy dessert topping with a sex drive." Also to stop calling whiney, clingy, helpless male characters "girly", or complain the author has "turned him into a woman".

The alternative: BAD SQUISHIE! BAD BAD SQUISHIE!
mocko bug

Apparently the term is from Finding Nemo. I like it. Let's all write non-squishie men (and women), no matter who's on top!

When I'm in a bad mood, I like friendsfriending because I don't feel any need to comment on anything. But sometimes I hit a community or journal on my friends-friends list that annoys me. No longer! Now that I've taken this hint from kyuuketsukirui: look at the info for the journal that you dislike, figure out who your mutual friends are, and make a special filter without them. Then you can append that to the friendsfriends url and never have to see them again.

for example, http://www.livejournal.com/users/yourusernamehere/friendsfriends/yourfilterhere

My personal biases are against bad tattoos and very active knitting coms, but yours might be different.
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Comments {14}

sister mary jillian holtzmann

(no subject)

from: marginalia
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:15 am (UTC)
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my bias is against communities altogether, so i do the show=P thing on friendsfriends.

though lately i've been reading stuff like yuletide members & the like.

/random

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Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:37 am (UTC)
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ooo show=P is cool!

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<3.14

(no subject)

from: apple_pi
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:34 am (UTC)
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So I am aware that it's uncool to call men "girly" as a form of denigration, but sometimes I do it--because that's how men think, and that's the POV I write from. :-p I will note, however, that I have two little boys, and I jump all over their little asses if I hear them denigrating something or someone as "girly" or "like a girl" or whatever. :-) Hypocrite much? Well, yes. But there it is.

BAD SQUISHIE!! BAD BAD SQUISHIE!

Now do I get the spanking?

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Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:38 am (UTC)
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Oh I didn't mean inside the stories. Guys most definitely would think that.

But when I'm talking about someone else's fic (or my own), I will try hard not to say girly or any of them words. BAD SQUISHIE!

I don't do spankings, sorry. Only cuddles. Which you get of course.

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<3.14

(no subject)

from: apple_pi
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:53 am (UTC)
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Dammit, I wanted spankings. Cuddles are good too, though. :-)

Well... Perhaps a better phrase would be "overly feminine." Because you know, there is such a thing. And there are cultural differences in how men and women handle things (perfect example: hate fics where men cry every five minutes, holy fuck no), and to portray men as womanly is just... annoying. I mean, for me, part of the reason I like slash is that it's about men, and there are advantages to that: Guys get right to the fucking, lol, they aren't introspective as a rule, they are closed off in ways that can be entertaining to explore and exploit as a writer. My male friends who are gay have told me: When two men are in a relationship, it's exactly what you'd expect--two men in a relationship, no matter how flaming they are. They are still insecure, shallow, and sex-driven. My lesbian friends have told me that they talk so much they hardly ever have sex, lol, because they discuss every fucking thing to death. Stereotypes? Yes. But probably there is truth in there. Yeah, there're exceptions to the rules (one of the reasons I suspect we're all so enamoured of RL Billy-n-Dom is that they are straight men who defy societal expectations in their interactions with each other), but in general? Men are manly, and women are womanly, and sometimes those are good traits and sometimes bad, but they don't necessarily cross over well.

This is an interesting topic, lol, hope you don't mind me spouting off my mouth here. :-)

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Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 05:22 pm (UTC)
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I know what you mean, and yet, I'd be annoyed to read a fic where a woman cried every five minutes. That's why I prefer the term squishie to "overly feminine" -- because I'm allergic to stereotypes.

Isn't the RL Billy & Dom Show amazing? All of the actors, the touchy-cuddly makes me happy. It's like guys who've been to war together, only because they are actors, they glomp each other instead of doing the traditional manly punch the shoulder kind of touching.

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<3.14

(no subject)

from: apple_pi
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
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Ahhh, I see where you're coming from (that crying woman would annoy me, too). I still might just stick with the modifier "overly", lol, but you make a good point. I think a man can be overly masculine, too--concerned with machismo, afraid to show any emotion, ...maybe misogynistic? I dunno. Just rambling on. Either of the "overly"s would annoy me though, I am definitely with you on that. :-)

YES! I love the RL Billy & Dom Show! They're so yummy, and I think we all wish we knew more men like that.

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(Deleted comment)

kinda into that Colin Morgan guy

(no subject)

from: rodneyscat
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 11:51 am (UTC)
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It's from the extended edition of RotK. The last disc, follow this path: main menu, filming 'return of the king', cameras in Middle-Earth, the 11th scene ('the Shire').

*uses your icon*

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Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 06:12 pm (UTC)
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Thanks, I blanked on the exact location!

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(Deleted comment)

Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 08:39 am (UTC)
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yah. It's been a bad day today.

Yay for sharing cool tricks :-)

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(Deleted comment)

Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
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The Nekkid Mal is at the very end of the twistiest episode, I adore it.

*clings to you and cuddles too, crawls under umbrella*

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sheldrake

(no subject)

from: sheldrake
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
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very active knitting coms,

Ahem, yeah - sorry 'bout that! ;) I'm always in half a mind whether to delete that one myself, but, you know, that would involve making a decision.

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Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
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I've become very good at filters, so it's cool. You're on my reading filter but not on my friendsfriends filter, so I never see them any more, but I still get to read you :-)

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(Deleted comment)

Lotripper

(no subject)

from: msilverstar
date: Nov. 15th, 2005 06:24 pm (UTC)
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slashababy but emailing secret.slasha@gmail.com is better because your recipent won't see. I'm pretty sure I know the answer but yueni has the Master List. Also, you can use your best email address and the messages won't bounce!

Anything for a smut sista like YOU :-)

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