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Jan. 30th, 2016 | 04:51 pm


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I don't think I've ever posted an end of year review. here goes.

Jan. 2nd, 2016 | 12:00 am

In 2015

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
- worked my ass off on a high-profile project
- burned out
- made mistakes
- got fired

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- try to see the big picture
- get out of the chair, away from the laptop, do something

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope, though a couple of fandom friends had babies, it's been fun watching her their posts. Some of my friends are now grandmothers.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don't think so

5. What did you do with your annual leave / vacation time?
Recuperated from being fired (I had 4 weeks vacation accumulated)

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
Motivation, context, control

7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- The day the big project went live.
- The day I lost my job

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Discovering I could work 11 hour days and produce enough stuff
- making a Halloween costume for my daughter
- Going to almost all my daughter's performances

9. What was your biggest disappointment?
- Myself for focusing on the immediate work and not the long-term needs

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Depression the whole time, a bout of bad anxiety when starting job-hunting

11. What was your money strategy this year?
"Keep on top of things". I did that most of the year, filed taxes on time etc. I still need to see someone about investing in an annuity.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Black Lives Matter activists

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My son, who has lots of excuses but is still sitting on his ass most days. He needs to make changes and grow up. I hate to say it, but when I was his age, I was enjoying the university a lot, had gone places and done stuff, was self-supporting (grants and parents) and engaged to my dear Ed.

And that the Republican Party voters are such idiotic asshats who are telling pollsters they'd vote for Trump or Carson -- who couldn't president themselves out of a paper bag!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Groceries for four, books and videos, car repair & insurance, home insurance, property tax, savings, getting the house re-shingled and painted, (halfway done!), non-profit donations

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- My daughter going to China on a study tour.
- My job for a while.

16. Did you get excited about any art/culture this year?
Hobbit fix-it fic has been excellent

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder
b) thinner or fatter? the same
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taking advantage of where I live and that I have enough money to do stuff (My depression & anhedonia are like a gravitational pull away from me even going out the door.)

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting on my ass

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We always go up to see my sister-in-law in Chico and chill out. We should sing some carols next year.

We also had Hannukah at our house with lots of latkes and presents and stuff. Just us, my mom, my brother and his wife, lots of laughs. My mom would love us to sing more.

And the Persian Yalda (midwinter) celebration was nice, interesting people to talk with, girl danced with the adult classes for the first time.

21. What relationships stand out in your memory this year?
- It hurts too much to think about the people at my old company
- My mom, who broke her hip in January and was walking by June. She did great and I did well in taking care of her.

22. What was your favourite TV program?
Miss Phryne Fisher!

23. Did you undertake any creative projects or adventures?
Not really. I went to Costa Rica with my old company which was exhilarating at the time, but really painful in retrospect.

24. What did you want and get?
- A reasonably calm year as a parent of a teen
- Six months of a good job.

25. What did you want and not get?
- the other six months of a good job
- son to make some progress in life

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to one of my favorite restaurants, the food was excellent and my son loved it, it was really nice to bond over something. I am 55.

My mom broke her hip the next day.

27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A chance to fix my mistakes.

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Jeans, because everyone at the office wore (expensive, tidy) jeans.

29. What kept you sane?
My husband, our sweet little house, all of my corner of fandom

30. Who did you miss?
My dad, always. Some of my old friends I've lost touch with. Some cousins.

31. Who was the best new person you met?
A bunch of lovely folks in Hobbit fandoms, especially http://demonessryu.tumblr.com

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
Always step back, see the big picture, ask dumb questions, require management to define benefits vs costs vs timing before agreeing to projects

33. Something new that worked out really well for you during the year?
My daughter's mostly-undramatic progress through high school. Second semester of AP Chem looms over us.

34. Most useful piece of advice or comment I received:
Don't burn out

35. What personal motto has emerged from this year for you?
"Think before you agree"

36. What are your plans for 2016?
Two of my Best Fandom Friends from the ooooold days of 2003-4 LotRPS, [personal profile] hanarobi and mirabile_dictu are coming here for MY birthday! No one has ever done that before for me. I'm all melty-happy about it.


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Hobbit Big Bang challenge 2015-16

Nov. 22nd, 2015 | 09:58 am

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love in the Hobbit fandom (PSDM)

Sep. 7th, 2015 | 12:45 pm

So, DragonCon, I am not there which is fine because I dislike heat, noise, and crowds.

But it's fun to watch the love-fest between fans and Dean O'Gorman (who played Fili in the Hobbit). He's clearly in that happy phase of genre stardom where he can be pleased by the intensity of the whole thing, and hop up on the table to take a beefcake pose for a moment before he gets a bit embarrassed and hops down again. I can't stop looking at the videos. In case you can't tell, I have a huge crush on him,. and am quite enjoying the feeling

2015-9-6 Dean Pinup Pose (screencap at Dragconon @filisleftmustachebraid).jpg

video by filisleftmustachebraid

And if anyone wants them, I have Hobbit RPF recs, frequently featuring the lovely Mr. O'Gorman.

This entry was originally posted at http://msilverstar.dreamwidth.org/501990.html. Comment here or there, whatever brings you joy.

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Fic rec: Loaded March (Merlin/Arthur, modern AU)

Sep. 5th, 2015 | 02:19 pm

Fic rec: the series Loaded March, a modern BBC Merlin AU, 1.2 million words of plot, action, violence, zombies, dragons, military internal politics, political intrigue, teamwork, hot sex and true love. (Merlin/Arthur)

This entry was originally posted at http://msilverstar.dreamwidth.org/501523.html. Comment here or there, whatever brings you joy.

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(no subject)

Jun. 27th, 2015 | 01:17 pm

George Takai from yesterday: "When I checked Twitter this morning #LoveWins"

: Screen Shot 2015-06-27 at 10.53.18 AM.png

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No Justice, No Peace

Dec. 7th, 2014 | 12:46 am

There was a mainly peaceful protest about Ferguson, etc. Some violent splinter groups broke some windows during a mainly peaceful demo, so the Berkeley Police decided to teargas the entire area. Including all the usual students on a Saturday night before finals week, a couple of hundred elderly people who’d been to a concert down the street, and us. My daughter was crying and I can still feel the gas it in my throat after a large glass of juice and a tea with honey.

We like to think our town is better than that. There has to be another way.

This entry was originally posted at http://msilverstar.dreamwidth.org/497415.html. Comment here or there, whatever brings you joy.

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AMA answers - favorite LOTR character and fun Medieval facts

Dec. 5th, 2014 | 10:24 pm

[personal profile] pir8fancier asked: Who is your favorite LOTR character?

A: That is so not fucking fair, I love them all! Seriously, how can I choose among Frodo and Aragorn and Merry and Pippin and Eowyn and Faramir and Elrond and Arwen and the best sidekick in the history of sidekicking, Sam????

[personal profile] baranduin: Tell me something that interests you about the Middle Ages.

A: My favorite Fun Fact is that in the generation after the Song of Roland was composed and spread, there were a significant number of babies named Roland and Olivier. Fandom in the 11th century!

I joked a little there but my senior thesis for my Medieval Studies degree (I had so much fun) was on the invention of medieval tournaments around the year 1200, basically people imitating stories. Fandom.

This entry was originally posted at http://msilverstar.dreamwidth.org/497172.html. Comment here or there, whatever brings you joy.

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slightly changed meme, AMA

Dec. 4th, 2014 | 07:20 pm

So there's a meme offering to talk about things on certain days of the month, but that's clearly not going to work for me. But I am happy to answer questions about nearly everything! Fandom, middle age, the Middle Ages, my kids, computer-y stuff from the mid-80s onwards, libraries, I dunno. Questions from new people who haven't heard my stories a zillion times are particularly encouraged!

This entry was originally posted at http://msilverstar.dreamwidth.org/496817.html. Comment here or there, whatever brings you joy.

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some things make a post

Oct. 12th, 2014 | 10:20 pm

  • It was 91F (33C) at my mom's house and the farmer's market today, no wonder I felt incredibly tired afterwards.

  • We've had more heatwaves this fall than I can remember. And a three-year drought, everything is kinda crispy, including me.

  • It's Fleet Week in SF, I saw three propeller planes flying in tight formation on Thursday and a distant bit of the Blue Angels from the Richmond Bridge today. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing, they're noisy and it's a blatant waste of gas, but they are also amazingly good at doing acrobatic tricks at awesome speeds, incredibly closely. Kindof the Olympic gymnasts of jets.

  • Work is... weird. I keep catastrophising and things keep working out.

  • I'm going to stop there for the moment. And try to post again sometime.

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